Mothers they say are the greatest of all creations; through them sprung life… and more life… Without them, mankind has long been extinguished… long gone… perished.
But when mothers are stricken with the fangs of pain brought by an ailment, one could not keep her heart from weeping…seeing the source of her strength on bed, frail.
Tears rolled as I look into her sacrifices… I was nurtured with love and excitement for nine months in her womb. I felt part of her… I could not discount her effort of making me educated. The mornings of waking up, bringing me to wherever school she would be assigned. The hours of sweat and tiredness when she looked for me on my first time of leaving her because she scolded me.. She walked a mile trying to locate me…
Never a word when she saw me… Just embraces knowing that I was safe.
Her sleepless nights of waiting for me because I was with my friends… Later did I realize how I deprived her of sound sleep and rest…
I had been in the hospital too for numerous times brought by surgeries, illnesses, giving birth. I saw the sadness in her every time she would see me being carried to the operating room… But as I opened my eyes, her face I would see… then she would rub her hand on my forehead, then would fix my hair. Mother's touch...
During my failed relationships, she never hurled vindictive words… she was there to understand…
Tuberculosis meningitis with hydrocephalus… Blood clot in the basal skull…My mother does not deserve that. She never did us wrong… Why her?
God’s plan. Perhaps. Am I rationalizing?
I could not explain how painful it was seeing her in her worst condition. She would complain of head pain, would ask for food -- because she has not been given for days… How I wanted to sneak and buy her whatever food she would clamor. More than the scars left by my previous relationships, this is a torture… more agonizing…
This has taught me more lessons in life… that’s why I am sharing… Love your mother. Care for her while she is still capable of returning your hugs and embraces. Laugh with her while she can still throw back the pun. Buy her things you think she would like while she could still say thank you.
Regrets. How I wish I have never been that stubborn. Never hard headed. How I wish I had given her the life she wanted… A life not full of worries, tears, and fears.
It is difficult to give up things we hold dear on earth.. But I have to realize the truth… The truth that my mother would no longer be with us… That is the painful reality..
Pain is beautiful when one can rise from its debilitating power… I still cling to God… Sooner, sadness will all be over…
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